Soft and Sweet

I first realized that I was gay in 1997 when I was fourteen years old. Fourteen years later in 2011, I finally told my brothers.

Although I'd been fairly open about being gay since college, I had never come out to my brothers, and after fourteen years, I felt like it was time.

When I told my little brother, he seemed genuinely surprised, unlike most people who generally responded with something along the lines of "Yeah, I kind of figured."

It seemed strange to me that he hadn't suspected anything. When I asked him about it, his response was, "We grew up together. I knew you were soft, but I never thought you were sweet."

It's pretty much my favorite thing that he's ever said to me.

Later that week, when I told my older brother, we were all in the car together, and his reply was, "Oh, man. I need a drink."

It wasn't the thumbs up and the high five that I'd hoped for, but overall, he and my little brother turned out to be pretty cool about the whole thing.

For years, they had wanted to be closer as brothers, but I'd kept them at a distance, because I was afraid they'd reject me if they figured out that I was a friend of Dorothy. But I can honestly say that coming out to my brothers has only made my bond with them stronger. I can talk to them about anything now, and I'm so grateful to have them in my life.

And that's why coming out and being out is so important to me.

Coming out isn't about telling the world about one's sexual orientation. Don't get me wrong; that's like a major component and all, but ultimately, it's about breaking down the barriers that divide us and keep us from fully loving one another.

And I dunno, maybe my little brother's right—maybe I am soft—but I think that love is a beautiful thing, worth tearing down some walls for.

October 11, 2015