A Different Kind of Racism

On my way to the 24 Hour Fitness in WeHo, I saw a homeless man sitting on the street. I try not to be the kind of person who ignores homeless people, so as I passed by, I gave a nod and a friendly smile.

In return, he gave me the finger, and said “F*ck you, n*gg*r. Get out of America.” 

I turned back to reply, “God bless you” and then walked on my way.

While that was the first time, to my recollection, that I’ve ever been called the n-word (to my face, at least), it didn’t feel much different from the subtle racism I experience in WeHo on a regular basis (particularly from younger guys, around my age). The ones—white and non-white—who say that they don’t date guys of a certain color. The ones who look right through you as if you weren’t there. The ones who only see you as a color or racial statistic—not a person to be acknowledged, but rather something that can be filtered out and ignored on a dating app and in real life.

Just like the homeless guy, who was so blinded by color that he couldn’t see me as a nice guy, giving him a nod and smile, there are many other guys in WeHo like that. And there are many different ways of saying, “F*ck you, n*gg*r.” The homeless guy was just crazy enough to be overt about it. Overt or subtle, they’re both awful.

I’m not saying that all guys in WeHo are racist. But racism is definitely there, and it’s something that’s rarely talked about even though many have experienced it. And I think it should be talked about. So I’m talking about it.

Ultimately, I don’t regret giving that homeless guy a nod and a smile, and if given the chance, I’d do it again. Like I said before, I don’t want to be the kind of person who looks past somebody as if they weren’t there, because I know what that feels like. It feels a lot like someone giving you the finger, and I don’t behave like that. Besides, everyone needs to feel acknowledged, and it’s guys like him, who are sad and angry and hurting, who need it the most.

God bless him.

August 21, 2015